From Experience! ! - Poem by Becky Ginn
This is a poem about my life
Although it’s pretty hard to write!
Since I don’t know where to begin,
Or how to express the feelings within.
One day my dad said he wanted out
His life was half over, he needed to get about.
He didn’t want children to answer to
He needed a life that was clean and new.
My mum didn’t eat or sleep,
Just cried and cried for weeks and weeks,
I had to go to school and work like always
And act as if I wasn’t phased.
I didn’t sleep coz I had to be in sight
When my mum needed me in the night.
She took up all my time and feeling
I pretended it was fine but inside I was seething.
One day she came to the school to say
I wouldn’t be going back – she needed me in the day.
My teachers finally knew what was wrong
I cracked at last because I couldn’t go on.
They said they would be always about
If I needed them I was only to shout
But then the summer came too fast
I was alone and their concern had passed.
Mum didn’t want us if dad wouldn’t stay
Without her husband we had no place
We got passed from pillar to post
No one cared about who we chose.
The arguments were always really bad
Mum wanted dad but he wouldn’t come back.
All hours of both day and night
Nothing I did could make it right.
She attempted suicide in many different ways
And it was all I could do to pass the days
Finally September came along
But my teachers acted like nothing was wrong.
My friends had no time for me
I was over exaggerating so they let it be
I was forced to pretend I had moved on
Though the pain was never really gone.
My second parents – the family next door
Decided they couldn’t take it any more
Moved to the other side of town
Now I really was on my own.
My dad found another family pretty quick
But I thought it was a family he couldn’t stick?
I’m forced to see him and still act happy
Though it seems it’s what I will never be.
Self harm came soon after that
Once I had started there was no going back
It helped me express my feelings
Felt like they were no longer trapped within.
Two years on it’s much the same
Mum hasn’t changed in a single way
Dad thinks he’s done nothing wrong
And the world thinks I’ve long since moved on.
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