Frustrated Poem by mona martinez

i feel like running back to,
how i use to handle things,
get upset take it out on myself,
why not, it feels like i deserve it?
nothing not going right,
i feel like i am to blame,
frustrated as hell,
i wish i didn't know why,
but everything was dumpped on me,
everything came at once,
it was everything i couldn't handle,
being hurt deeply,
body feeling all the pain,
not only emotionally,
but physically as well,
i wanted anything to get away,
but i couldn't,
living in fear that it was that time,
the time you could not avoid,
the moment he came into the room,
told you everything was okay,
body frozen in fear,
there not much you can do,
body seperate from the pain,
and just goes numb,
mind goes to a place where you are happy,
where you are safe,
nothing last forever,
but days like these,
it feels like it is forever,
and happiness is gone forever,
i don't deserve to be happy,
no matter how much i tell myself otherwise.