Getting Rid Of My Pain The Wrong Way Poem by Fernando Alvarez

Here again with the blade so sharp,
My guilt is faint, feeling pleasure against my arm.
Getting rid of all my pain the wrong way, but feels so great
I can't figure out the 'normal' way people cope with this pain inside.
With their smiles so bright, but my smile tells a lie.
The fakeness sometimes is hard to even notice.
Close up life is just a joke,
In this lonely little world of mine.
With my head always down, looking at the ground.
Scared to look away from this comfortable space.
I lived for days with this loud noise pounding.
Every time I look away, noticing all the lies I've been told,
And everything is shown from my weakness.
My arms are broke open, with the blood pouring out the pain.
My face is pale, bitter, and stale.
I just wish you knew how it feels.