David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

Granularity - Poem by David DeSantis

its my curse
im unaware
of the punishment it gives.
its my hope.
You know the way i wished
for that and those
and who is she.
your my curse,
side-swiped thoughts
of your mischievous improvements.

Copyright (c) David DeSantis

Comments about Granularity by David DeSantis

  • (4/15/2008 11:45:00 AM)

    Your'ed have to say this is cleaver - a poem with such an open extended metaphor that practically forces the reader to project his troubles and life into it. Very cleaver I think I will try it. (Report) Reply

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  • (4/9/2008 9:25:00 PM)

    This is very good David. Concise, passionate and pleasingly structured. Sounds to me like writing poetry is going to help with your granularity hangup, too. There is quite an important metaphysical thread running through this too, methinks. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (Report) Reply

  • (4/9/2008 2:12:00 PM)

    Granularity reminds me of salt
    from it we get some flavor
    but overdone, it, like the sun,
    can wither, dry, and sever.

    Water and heat and time, repeat
    can mold it into a crystal
    Beautiful to behold, its facets,
    bold, can be ground down by a pestle.

    Salt, refined, is favorful.
    To folks, it is a treasure.
    But salt, distressed, is uselessness;
    Because it's lost it's savor.

    Your granularity inspired me to try to be poetic again. Thanks!
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/7/2008 11:01:00 AM)

    David, this works well, short and simple, but very effective. Top marks and thanks for sharing this my friend.
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/4/2008 2:25:00 AM)

    Well, DeSantis I see that you cut right to the chase in Granularity.
    Tough, but real. This is the only way to deal with this stange planet, I feel.
    Glad to see that you are looking it straight in the eye.
    Thank you for checking in with me. Hope to stay in touch. Great great outlet here.

    Kash earley
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Poem Edited: Monday, April 7, 2008

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