Grumpy Company Poem by Suzanne Hayasaki

I don't want to be grumpy company.
I don't want to dampen your happiness
By laying my complaints down on paper
And them sending them to you, expecting solutions.

Instead, I will stew in my own disillusions.
I will let my pessimism get the better of me,
Draining me of the little energy I have left
And then crawl into bed until my own lethargy repels me.

Who knows? Maybe I'll dream
Of my golden youth that never bloomed
Or the wonder years that never filled me
Or the fruition that never came to me.

Maybe in dreams I can become someone vital.
Someone who excites passion in others,
Who incites them to take action
Who leads them to some higher plane.

But I will awake, the same nameless soul
In a sea of billions, each fighting the waves
Just trying to stay afloat, cold, thirsty,
Left lifeboatless by some unfeeling, unseeing Captain.