Guilty And Sad - Poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
It makes me feel guilty and sad
When some one calls me bad
It is so particularly in the case of spy
Valiant attempt for motherland but suicidal try
“Don’t do the work that may send you in jail”
“Attempt at nothing that may curtail your freedom and fail”
Sir, I cry today as my years have been spent in dungeon
Living hell for a person to undergo strict terms of prison
What you can term as living hell on earth?
He posed a question virtually fearful of death
They tried virtually to kill me by breaking feet and hands
As my mind was so much infused with love for motherland
Can you believe almost 30 years with prison sentence?
How much agony and pain to be spent with mind so much tense?
No one was there to talk with and see the light of the day
Food to be served with insult and sometimes thrown away
I was handcuffed and tied with locks on feet
To be kicked with filthy language as if to greet
“Traitors are to be treated with same treatment”
Such words used to be hurled as comments
Today I am out from prison and back to country
I thank everybody for efforts made and particularly the almighty
Without his blessings I couldn’t have seen light of the day
Such is the experience and mission to be undertaken in hazardous way
I have no regrets for services rendered to the cause of motherland
Yet I may advice people to remain away and act as friends
I have lost everybody and put to shame by label of prisoner
I pray almighty to free me from that label sooner
It will be considered as no sacrifice if done for noble cause
The countries at war sometimes resort to such practice
Yet nothing should be done to create bad blood and hatred
It is their affair and must be allowed freely to be led
I cry not for the mistreatment caused in enemy territory
But maltreatment meted out at home as an adversary
Not sympathy or words of praise for undergoing torture
What could have I expected from enemy as nice treatment for sure?
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