Randy Johnson

He Bought Me A Grave Plot - Poem by Randy Johnson

My friend wanted me to thank him but I would not.
When the fool bought me a birthday gift, he purchased a grave plot.
He said he bought it because a man doesn't know how long he'll live.
I said he might not live much longer because this was an inappropriate gift to give.
Two days later I sold my grave plot to a family who needed it.
My friend found out and he had a fit.
When he saw me at a bar, he decided to trash my truck.
But he made a big mistake and he was out of luck.
He threw a brick through the windshield and slashed the tires.
Then he poured gas in the cab and set it on fire.
But he accidentally trashed an old man's truck that was identical to mine.
When he saw that it belonged to a broken down old man, he laughed because he thought everything was fine.
The old man insisted that my friend buy him a new truck because his couldn't be fixed.
My friend laughed until he saw that the old man has a young son who stands seven feet six.
There was a lot of violence and there was plenty of blood.
The old man's son beat up my friend and then forced him to eat mud.
My friend paid for a new truck because he never wanted to see those two again.
He really is scared of those men.

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Poem Submitted: Monday, July 24, 2006

Poem Edited: Wednesday, August 18, 2010

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