Him. Poem by Rayona Dawson

Him.



Something intrigued Me about him, I'm used to people paying me attention, predictable.... But he was different. He didn't pay me any attention, didn't even bother to remember my name, I couldn't read him. He was Unpredictable, Dangerous - completely different than anything I experienced and it made my skin crawled but I liked it. I liked the chase, the hunt - the more he Ignored me, the more I wanted him. He's all I thought about, talked about, dreamed about.... He took over my mind and body, for the first time I was completely vulnerable, naked - and he was completely obvious to me, I was merely air to him. Eventually I hunted him down, I demanded his attention - and he gave it to me, not all of it... Just enough to keep me somewhat satisfied, always craving more. It was a consistent power struggle between us, who was dominant and who was the submissive. He was always gentle. He asserted himself when necessary but always kind, gentle. I wanted him to be more rough, (NOT ABUSIVE) dominant, aggressive but he never was I liked that he was older than me, mature, wise, seasoned - a challenge. He taught me - how to love myself, he helped me rebuild the self confidence that my father tore down. He kissed my scars, from the slits on my wrist to the burns on my skin, to the surgical scar on my back - he wiped the makeup off my face and kissed my dark marks on my cheeks, asked me to take my weave out (I did) and he played in my natural hair (he's a terrible hair dress) , when I sprang my hamstring he massaged and stretched my hamstring. He showed me how I should be treated. It's truly the little things that make you fall in love with a person, I feel so hard for him, emotionally, mentally and physically- I love him, I am IN LOVE with him, but now that's over... Back to being condemned back to the lonely nightmare of feeling unwanted, unpretty and not needed. He doesn't love me anymore, forbidden to be around me... Now I'm just simply the mother of his unborn son. Forever condemned to the title 'Baby Mama', to a life alone while he still had a life of his own...

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Soul Watcher 01 February 2016

Supposed to be a Poem?

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