Holiday In Hell, Isn'T It Swell? Poem by BEAU GOLDEN

I would rather stick my fingers in a fan
I would rather eat dog food from a can
Than sit with relatives and pretend to have fun
Than sit with relatives and pretend we are one

I would rather obsess over Pee Wee Herman
That sit with old folks who only speak German
I would rather fill my butt with Carpenter's nails
Than listen to another round of Old Wive's tales

There's nothing more evil the devil could conceive
Than sitting with relatives on Christmas eve
Holiday in Hell, isn't it swell?