I Cannot, For It Is Sealed Poem by David Mitchell

I take my rubbish to the dump
and I find that it is not the dump
but the civic amenity point
I turn on my laptop
but it's not a laptop
it's a notebook
I read my book
which is not a book
but a visual learning device
I eat my food
which is oral sustenance
I cannot think for myself
I must think outside the box
what box?
I write with my fountainpen
or should that be a transcribing implement
my watch says it is twelve minutes to six
my miniature chronometer I mean
I used to wear a brace for my teeth
it was called a nonremovable appliance
or something
sounds like a washingmachine
my glasses are visionenhancers

why can't anybody speak English?

(Sunday,6th November,2005.)