James T. Abel Adesitimi


I Cry - Poem by James T. Abel Adesitimi

when would war ends?
When would foes turn to friends?
With what've seen, i cry
when would tears never flow?
When would smile ever grow?
Dana air-crash beats my heart then i cry
When would i ever laugh?
For the world is rough.
So i cry
when would our garments never stain?
When would truth and holiness ever reign?
I washed my garment and again stained, then i cry
Mama when would i never fail?
Papa when would my head never turn to tail?
I shake my head then i cry
since i must strive
sister when would the kingdom arrive?
I wandered round and round then i cry
my people tell me when would crime decrease?
When would the hell prisoners release?
O i cry


Poet's Notes about The Poem

worries and anxieties

Comments about I Cry by James T. Abel Adesitimi

  • James T. Abel AdesitimiJames T. Abel Adesitimi (6/30/2012 12:23:00 PM)

    tanks alot i wish to have u as frnd on facebook.whats ur username? (Report)Reply

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  • James T. Abel AdesitimiJames T. Abel Adesitimi (6/30/2012 12:20:00 PM)

    karen thanks alot.i wish to have u as friend on facebook. Whats ur username? (Report)Reply

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  • Karen Sinclair (6/30/2012 6:48:00 AM)

    When would war ends?

    When would foes turn to friends?
    With what I've seen, i cry

    when would tears never flow?
    When would smile ever grow?
    Dana air-crash, beats my heart, then i cry
    .
    When would i ever laugh?
    For the world is rough.
    So i cry...

    When would our garments never stain?
    When would truth and holiness ever reign?
    I washed my garment and again stained
    Then i cry...

    Mama when would i never fail?
    Papa when would my head never turn to tail?
    I shake my head then i cry, since i must strive
    Sister when would the kingdom arrive?
    I wandered round and round then i cry
    My people tell me when would crime decrease?
    When would the hell prisoners release?

    O i cry......


    I actually dont know much about english paragraphs and sentences so i try to lay out as i want it read... using dots to hopefully make people stop for a pause at the moments i should like them too.. i tried to message you to ask if you minded me trying to edit and show you how i think maybe this could be shown even better (but this is as ever just my opinion...)

    I try to build and slow the pace of a read by the length of the sentences and how many are gathered together..

    plz dont think im a know it all, as i really m quite ignorant in literature (which is why i have tried to work out ways to get my meanings and emotions across.. i do hope you dont mind my pointers as i hate suggesting things but believe me, if i didnt think your write was worthy of time and effort i would of just skipped to the next poem out there.
    thanks and dont hate me.. karen
    (Report)Reply

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  • James T. Abel AdesitimiJames T. Abel Adesitimi (6/30/2012 5:05:00 AM)

    interesting and good (Report)Reply

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  • Karen Sinclair (6/30/2012 4:58:00 AM)

    A really lovely piece which has such great potential but (and i am being honest) i hope you dont mind...

    How you have laid out this write makes it difficult (for me) to read..

    Which is a shame as i love the actual words and pleading sentiment. Great potential... i really hope you do not mind my thoughts and please remember that they are just my opinion... thank you.. karen
    (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 30, 2012

Poem Edited: Tuesday, July 10, 2012


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