I Hate Having Preferences Poem by Josh Mitteldorf

I am constantly tortured by judgments within,
Always counseling 'better' and 'worse'…
Playing victim, indulging in pity for self
To be sure is a miserable curse!

What should I do that might silence this voice
That is telling me what I should do?
How might I escape from this prison of ignorance?
Answer: I haven't a clue.

I'm afraid that I'll never step out from a life
That is governed and bounded by fear.
And attachment is all that is holding me back
From acquiring all I hold dear.

My daily routine feels so empty, because
It's directed toward objects extraneous.
What habits to cultivate, then, if my goal
Is to live in a way that's spontaneous?

…but enough! This is idle and useless abstraction,
Indulgence in wild speculation.
Someday might I live in the moment of 'now'
(once I've made all the right preparation) .