I Love My Little Pony Poem by Spock the Vegan

When I was young I rode
an Appaloosa horse.
She belonged to my father,
so wasn't mine, of course.
Whenever I tried to ride her
she would always run away.
So I always had to entice her
with some grain or with some hay.

When you put the saddle on her back
her belly she would swell,
so the strap would be loose,
and when you rode you fell.
So I rode her mostly bareback
getting up with my elbow.
Grabbed the reins in my hands,
Said "giddy-up" and we did go.

Walking her was OK,
and galloping her to run,
but the middle speed was trotting,
and that was no fun.
It bounced you up and down
and you crashed into her bone.
And if you crashed in the right spot,
It always made you groan.

So I never wanted a pony
until I got to my old age.
And got a big yard full of weeds,
with thistles, grass, and sage.
I ride him round and round while
he eats the grass and weeds in the yard.
So mowing the lawn will
not be terribly hard.

He's not an Appaloosa,
an Arabian or a mare.
But my neighbor opens her curtains
and out the window she does stare.
As I ride him clockwise,
spiraling in to the middle.
And now you want to know
the answer to the riddle.

His main color is red,
And he is quite a sight.
The bagger tube is on his right side,
and his wheels are painted white.
I love my little Pony,
and am not full of guilt,
for he was a gift from my wife,
and was made by Troy-Bilt.