I bought myself a cow today,
All it does is cause me strife,
I feed her loads of lovely hay,
She reminds of my wife.
All day long it pees and shits,
It’s habits I can’t control,
The milk it comes from dangly bits,
They say that is their role.
My problem is each time I try,
The stuff comes out all white,
To superglue it could apply,
Something isn’t right.
It doesn’t even taste like milk,
It resembles double cream,
Maybe she’s from a different ilk,
As there is a lot of steam.
Four teats they say for a normal cow,
Yet mine has only one,
To stroke it yes she does allow,
Truth is I’m never done.
Every time I milk my beast,
She sings a different carol,
The amount of milk that’s then released,
Is enough to fill a barrel?
I’ve called the vet she isn’t well,
I haven’t milked her for a while,
No company means he’s going through Hell,
At that I ran a mile.
That teat that you’ve been choking,
With semen it’s well full,
It’s desires you’ve been stoking,
‘’ I’m Afraid Your Cow’s A Bull ‘’
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem