John Carter Brown


I'M Not An Ape Man - Poem by John Carter Brown

'Mankind has descended from monkeys'
I heard on the telly last week;
The scientists say that it's certain,
I say that I think they've a cheek.

Just because our design is so similar
To monkeys and apes and baboons;
I don't reckon those chimps in the advert'
Have a clue what to do with those spoons.

I'm not fooled by their lovable antics,
And the 'smiles' that play on their lips;
It's an insult to dress them like humans,
And force them to drink P.G. tips.

We sit them in front of a mirror
Like a schoolmaster would do a dunce,
Then say: 'yes they've got self awareness'
If they do not attack it at once.

If it's true we're descended from monkeys
Why is it there's some of them left,
Why is it there's still some evolving
And the world isn't monkey bereft?

No, my mind is made up on the matter,
And it wasn't made up in a tree;
Let the scientist say what he wants to,
But he won't make a monkey of me!

Written Jan 1996


Poet's Notes about The Poem

Had a bee in my bonnet that day, about humans and monkeys, and felt that I needed to stand up for the former.

Comments about I'M Not An Ape Man by John Carter Brown

  • (4/22/2013 2:49:00 PM)


    Love your poems John, a wicked wit. (Report) Reply

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  • (8/27/2012 6:08:00 AM)


    : o)))) I especially like the last line won't make a monkey of me and was really amused by your attitude to being linked with the monkey species although I have to say that although we still have monkeys around, there are various different breeds of monkeys and apes so we could be just another....do you see? Personally, if anyone says to me that I look vaguely like an ape or a monkey they might seriously be in jeopardy of damaging their health but if they want to risk it? ? ? ? ? : o)))) (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (8/21/2012 2:54:00 PM)


    Hmmmmm, , this is what I call real monkey-business. Absolutely love it, a great write. Tee hee hee! ! : -) (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012



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