Joe Holley

I'M Not Sad - Poem by Joe Holley

For my life is all but my own creation.
I shed but not a single tear,
I breath with no sigh of fear.

Encased within memory, but there are no corners full of my shattered dreams,
there are no echoes of my non-existent screams.
Though for I am beset by such a pleasant dusk,
I do not lay in thee and fade into obscurity.

Still… I am not sad.

For I have this special place,
Partnered within a moment so breathe taking.
It lays out back behind these walls, vibrant in its solitude in such tranquillity.
Holding too such a treasured rebirth, captured in canvas, living in magic.

As now my mind fragments into thought, I wonder off,
I pass but just normal estates, for I don’t go far.
There’s no snow present now though,
but as I told you, I don’t go far.

I’m not at loss for company,
when I gaze into this fall.
For within the echo of the water as it crashes, I hear voices,
I close my eyes at sight, listen and laugh at what you saw.

A noise echo’s through the abbey, I told you I’m not alone,
heavens placed another soul here, oh, but he’s cutting.
The sap seeps from the forests, it might as well be blood,
I wonder how much wood he’s taking, I’ll stand now questioning.

But… I am not sad.

Her moon is shining brightly upon me,
to town I must backtrack.
Carrying but a single pound,
What harm could it bring?

Shelves of tat yet my eye flees from me and catches something,
Description reading, “for if I snap them, they glow and shine bright”.
I waver within thought that maybe one day, they will give me dreams once more
for if they don’t come back at all.

But… I said I’m not sad.

Confined back within these walls I call home
Entranced as I gaze perched once more.
I’ll watch the birds play with the cats
I’ll watch the grass, dead in its patch.

It’s that voice again, a lullaby spoken by my hero,
“I whisper softly in the air”
“I’m alone when you’re not here”
ok, so maybe I cry sometimes.

But… I’m not sad!

Never mind, for I can’t bear to gaze much longer,
I’ll just lay back down and kill my emotion with sound.
This song’s poetic rhythm though inspiring, flows a little slow
Wait, but how dare I have the audacity to alter such poetry.

Never mind this too, I’ll go back outside.
I’ll walk through this lonesome night.
I’ll go to this park that beckons,
and I’ll see us anyway, holding each other in the last spent moment together.

I’m not sad, it’s cold out, that must be it,
So my hands won’t stop shaking.
My eyes won’t stop breaking,
But It’s just cold.

Let’s just go home, its late,
No signal, stupid phone! .
There it’s sent,
Wait, was this such a good idea.. My mind now a mess.

I don’t think it matters now
I’m home once again.
To lay back down to bed, succumb to the darkness
and cry till the next break.
But I’m not sad…

Poet's Notes about The Poem

20/4/2013 Joe H.

Comments about I'M Not Sad by Joe Holley

  • (11/12/2015 4:03:00 AM)

    A lovely narration of depressive feelings that commonly rise in all of us, sometimes or the other. (Report)Reply

    (11/12/2015 8:14:00 AM)

    I remember when i wrote this, back in those days when i used to drown in these thoughts. The depressing narrative here reminds me and hits hard still to this day even though i had forgotten i wrote this. It's almost like my mind didn't forget but carried it dormant knowing these words are on paper. So many descriptions here are of events that happened to me and that hurt still to this day. Hm..

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Poem Submitted: Friday, May 24, 2013

Poem Edited: Friday, May 24, 2013

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