I Need Help Poem by Zachary Clark

[ORCHESTRAL INTRO]
[DARK CHURCH ORGAN AND CRYING VIOLINS]

[OPERATIC CHORUS]
I need help, I need help,
I'm screaming for something.
Baptized and born again.
But I still feel like hell.
Running from nothing.
But it's not just some phantom.

[CHOIR - ACCENTING]
I need help, I need help.
My feet stutter, I need help.
My words stutter, I need help.
My heart suffers, I need help.
My soul wonders, I need help.
Please carry me, I need help.

[DRAMATIC NARRATION]
Everywhere I go, been losing my nerve again.
Who am I, if I'm hurting loved ones, they wept
Over the words I spoke, over the verbs I know.
Never to hold them close, up to arms length I go.

I need help, but I'm scared of Jesus though.
Who am I? A sinner, he loves me despite my tones
Teaching me... patience and testing my hope.
Father is punish, what is Father's love to know?

I'm searching for the truth yet, who have I met?
Bible sits open, in the process, what next?
How do I know... I'm saved when, all I do is stress?
Do I call out, cry out, rest of the tears stream wet.

Horribly wicked sinner, horribly wicked sinner.
Knees tremble and shiver, folded as I quiver.
Arms wrapped, brain hinders, spiritual growth, figures.
Dancing, mathematically triggers, these earthly fissures.

Between my Father, Jesus, Brothers and Mother.
Dad, Sisters and my love, her and our two others...
Children, as I hover, steps are impossible stutters...
As I share my fears, another word that hurts, suffers...

[GOTHIC CHOIR INTENSIFIES]

[OPERATIC CHORUS]
I need help, I need help,
I'm screaming for something.
Baptized and born again.
But I still feel like hell.
Running from nothing.
But it's not just some phantom.

[CHOIR]
I need help, I need help.
My feet stutter, I need help.
My words stutter, I need help.
My heart suffers, I need help.
My soul wonders, I need help.
Please carry me, I need help.

[SPOKEN RECATIVE]
My past haunts me, tortures me, demons, they haunt me.
So I leave it to Jesus, when's the pain ends, caught these.
Torments like a knife, to my soul, what's the reason, please.
Father I'm begging you, I believe, but to do, what do I need?

God, I'm here a humble servant, Jesus died for me. What version...
Needs to die, to come back learnin'? I feel like I'm burnin'...
It worsens, the pain it gets worse an', I feel like a worse person.
So when do I drop the burden. Where is it, within all these verses?

Let go, let go, see my ego and kill it, set fire, so it goes...
But, it doesn't seem to help, when though, do I let go?
I'm two toned, repentance and protector who knows?
When I cry out, He knows, we know, these lows...

But when You hear me, where is The Holy Spirit? Calming,
My anxieties, is my faith seen. It's so little, it's revolting.
Is it up to me? What's wrong with me? It's hauntingly...
On the edge of dreams... the shadow follows, God please...

Show me what to do, let your soldier dawn the armor to,
Fight off the growth of the parasitic sin, that doesn't belong to you...
I'm prone to, fight for the hope you, tell me what to do...
I'm lost again, so I pray again, God... my only friend...

[ORCHESTRAL SWELL]

[OPERATIC CHORUS]
I need help, I need help,
I'm screaming for something.
Baptized and born again.
But I still feel like hell.
Running from nothing.
But it's not just some phantom.

[CHOIR]
I need help, I need help.
My feet stutter, I need help.
My words stutter, I need help.
My heart suffers, I need help.
My soul wonders, I need help.
Please carry me, I need help.

[DRAMATIC NARRATION]
What is love, if just feel hurt? Where is love, when I just hurt?
Open the good book, read a verse: Corinthians 13. I'm worse,
Jesus come teach me, this dirt... covering me gets worse...
I'm rolling in it, but trying to get clean. When do I learn?

I need to love me, but I can't... The souls I damaged and burned.
So I cling to Jesus, and feel the hurt, the pain, and come to terms...
As my soul is left bleeding out, please God... I feel... I'm cursed...
To lose myself, and burn for eternity, please help... me search...

For you, I want my heavenly Father, but I'm afraid of myself...
Afraid you'll turn, and I'll burn... in hell. I'm only my own selfish self.
I want to be more, spiritually sanctified, nothing to shelf.
Anything you give, I'll share with the world, I need help.

I'm down on my knees again, my strongest position... friend.
Searching with all I am, but still feel lost within.
So, won't stop, I'll step, only in the name of you, my soul's fixing.
To find you, remind you, I'm here and I'm trying to love, again...

My hardened heart, melting with each prayer, and the sins emerge.
The guilts emerge, and my head it hurts. Each time I learn,
My words damaged... yet another. So I can't figure...
Aggressive and overly assertive, I can't curb my words.

[CLIMACTIC ORCHESTRA]

[OPERATIC CHORUS]
I need help, I need help,
I'm screaming for something.
Baptized and born again.
But I still feel like hell.
Running from nothing.
But it's not just some phantom.

[CHOIR - MAXIMUM INTENSITY]
I need help, I need help.
My feet stutter, I need help.
My words stutter, I need help.
My heart suffers, I need help.
My soul wonders, I need help.
Please carry me, I need help.

[OUTRO]
[SPOKEN]
God... please...
[FINAL MASSIVE CHURCH ORGAN CHORD]
[FADE TO SILENCE]
[END]