I Still Love.. How? And Who Knows Why? "Suprise" Poem by James Darwin Smith II

Dreams, These dreams
Apparitions, as I may?
Yet, recurring somehow
Befuddling this mind
Wondering, why
Regurgitate this pain?


Solace, Come forth
Peace in thoughts
Without a heart
Filling the shrapnel
Of the glass shattered
From the memories
Once bestowed away


Too much love
For my own good
Working so hard
To move on
If I could only
Just let it all go


Is this a test?
To put my patience
All the way
Against the grain
Tell me
Is what is there to even gain?


We are both air
Separated by unknown winds
Going opposite directions
Yet, somehow
My heart says
We will be joined together
Again


To trust hope though
Has been mostly just pain
This psychical form apparent
Soul draining
Down loaded with shame



Still these memories
They will escape
Even if they cause
So much more internal pain


I am nobody
To what I made a somebody
Upon these dreams
That came to me
Without any warning
Wondering why
Things are what
They were never meant to be


Fate, a paradox
Full of enigmatic signs
Signaling unknown motives
Upon these cruel recurring dreams
So real in an unrealistic fantasy
How could I ever trust these dreams again?


Still. Through it all
I keep dreaming
Perhaps it's the freedom
That mends me free?
Who knows?
If only..


I still Love…
How and why?


Perhaps life is full of surprises
Who knows…?