I Was A Beauty School Dropout; A Tall Tale Of Terror Poem by Shaun Cronick

I was a beauty school dropout,
I know it's hard to believe.
But what they got up to there,
I so quickly had to leave...

My unbelievable story now begins,
So innocently just a few dark days ago.
This traumatic tale of true twisted terror,
My written words of wretched wary woe...

My first day at beauty school,
Where everyone is so nice as pie.
But within a few horrific hours,
Those wicked vermin will all die...

I got lost in its vast dark labyrinth,
Then a secret laboratory I did sleuth.
666 floors beneath said beauty school,
Its door labelled The Fountain Of Youth...

I was curious and then stole inside,
As an experiment was just taking place.
An old crone dipped her head in water,
Re-emerged without a wrinkle on her face! ...

As I hid I heard them all happily chorus,
Why her skin is now softer than mittens.
Thanks to this hungry devilish machine,
That feeds on the souls of cute kittens...

What! I thought as they all filed out,
With me being a cat owner and lover.
I then destroyed this fiendish machine,
A real mess for someone to discover...

But I'm only just getting warmed up,
Literally, as I start many a fierce fire.
I made it back to the outside world,
Locking the doors to their funeral pyre...

Then I ventured home to feed Mr Whiskers,
My cherished cat so very old and so gray.
And so beware the price of eternal beauty,
For it could be the death of you one day...