I Wish You Had Never Come To Exist Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

It's not my heart,
I find broken apart...
I can not mend back again.
This I've done before.

And it's not my tears I can not dry,
I use to cry...
Day and night...
From swollen clouded eyes.

It's you...
Haunting me to want,
To fill that needed urgency.
With a taunting me awake.
To keep me from a peaceful sleep.

It's you...
I can not seem to erase.
Or replace to escape,
From thoughts of you cemented...
Fixed with a permanence staying I can't get away.
And...
I wish,
You had never...
Come to exist!

It's not my arms I miss around you.
Or your lips I wish to kiss.
Nor those times we loved,
I had sat for moments to reminisce.

It's you...
I can not seem to erase.
Or replace to escape,
From thoughts of you cemented.
It's you...
Haunting me to want,
To fill that needed urgency.
With a taunting me awake,
From a deep and peaceful sleep!

But...
I know,
It is possible...
I can both heal and mend again.
If...
You did not exist.

I wish you...
Had never come to exist.
Ever.
I wish you did not come for me to exist.
Never.
I wish you...
Had never come to exist.
Ever.
I wish you did not come for me to exist.
Never.
I wish you had never come to exist!

You...
Knew you'd have my mind mess up like this!
You...
Knew what you did I could not resist if I wished!