If Only Poem by Nunam Lawati

If only silence could have ease the pain
And explaining could light this heart
You would not see me bothering
Around that huge fire filled with burden.
If only my clothes was meant to be judged
And not me,
If only my opinions would matter less
More than your ego,
Why would you assure me?
Standing up as the one
Who would always be right beside me.
If i had to choose my way
Would you be happy?
Cause its just illusion you agree with
And sad it can never be with me.
You would then say
You have huge hope on me
When you never ask
Deep down what i always wanted to be.
If i was selfish
And had my own judgements
Would it be disrespect to you
Would it make you feel low?
Cause you never ask how i feel
When you drag me down
And point me out
For being the reason of your despair.

If i had let you hear
How painfully i cry every midnight
Would it then let you be at peace
And then pity me?
But
You would then ask
why do people break down
You find it pathetic
You find it funny
You find it unreal,
Cause you never realized
I am one among them too
And i never felt so comfortable
Confronting it to you