Ill Suitor Poem by Ima Ryma

This girl I liked did not like me.
I just could not figure out why.
What could I do so she would see
That I am really one great guy?
She had this dog she loved a lot.
So I dognapped it from her yard;
Figuring when I 'found' ol' Spot,
She'd show me some loving regard.
Well, when I called to tell her that
I had something well worth her while,
She thought that I was hinting at
Having sex, and she called me vile.

I found another gal instead,
So I sent back her damn dog's head.