In Old Town (Edinburgh)

I have walked through a glen
And I swam in a loch,
I have climbed to the top of a Ben
And I stood on volcanic rock.
I have pushed a trolley
And I have smiled at bairns,
I petted a collie
And I also read Burns.
I then spotted a coo
Walking in the thistle,
At me it said, "moo"
It was Bonny, so I gave out a whistle.
I was of course steaming
While being a crabbit,
I was looking for winchin
From a lass whose not a hackit.
I then saw and I smiled at a lassie
I complimented her on her bum,
Then I remembered that's not her chassis
So, I blamed it all on the rum.

Randy L. McClave