In The Mad Schizophrenia Of How I Am Missing Your Love Poem by Gert Strydom

(for Annelize, after Vernie Plaatjies)

With thunderbolt upon thunderbolt
the rain falls with sun in this day,
where I do notice the sky cobalt-blue
and in all of this do heartlessly long for you,
do remember the sound of your voice and laughter,
are surprised that the longing do yearn for you,

do smell the fragrance of water on the earth
that is like poured out love,
do remember your lips and the taste of your mouth
and suddenly everything has deep and great meaning

as everywhere you do accompany me in my thoughts
and I do taste the sweet taste of your name,
are in wonder with the cloudless bright rain
and with lightning bolts it now does pour down,
do touch the depths of my heart
where for three decades I am living without you.

In the mad schizophrenia of how I am missing your love
my heart is sometimes healthy
where for years I do feel loss and to me you are missing,
at times I am wounded,

and where you are away over the horizons
my whole life long I am a without you lonely
while constantly I am longing for you,
now do notice a vague rainbow hanging in the distance,
do wait upon God for his great mercy and promises
and sometimes I do want to laugh and sometimes I do want to cry,

do want to pour myself out in the depths of you
as I cannot tell you any better about my feelings
or I will have to be reborn at another place and time
where love is more than an endless hurting game,

where the great joy, pain and memory of that which had been,
which is and is coming
do bring people that do truly love each other again together
as if the first starry-light and sunlight of your eyes will come again,
as if your glance and fragrance and soft lips once again will astound me
but thís is only for my heart a kind of unsteady intuition
of a eternity that in a gigantic circle always do turn

where my reality here and now
is chained to my love of you
which is without any end
and I do remember you as the only wonderful woman
that does exist.

[Reference:"Gedig vir S" (Poem for S)by Vernie Plaatjies.]

© Gert Strydom