In The Well

Rating: 3.4
My father cinched the rope,
a noose around my waist,
and lowered me into
the darkness. I could taste

my fear. It tasted first
of dark, then earth, then rot.
I swung and struck my head
and at that moment got

another then: then blood,
which spiked my mouth with iron.
Hand over hand, my father
dropped me from then to then:

then water. Then wet fur,
which I hugged to my chest.
I shouted. Daddy hauled
the wet rope. I gagged, and pressed

my neighbor's missing dog
against me. I held its death
and rose up to my father.
Then light. Then hands. Then breath.
Atossa 16 April 2018
I am continually surprised by the way most people read a poem bordering on perfection and grade it a 3 out of 10. Ignorance flourishes before our very eyes.
1 0 Reply
Susan Williams 21 March 2018
Read this before and read it again today and if anything I admire his storytelling skill even more than I did before. He knows the value of suspense- -be it from a rope or a story-line.
6 0 Reply
Unwritten Soul 12 June 2016
Its was a suspense poem, and the end was delightful
0 0 Reply
Susan Williams 12 January 2016
His taut lines echo the tautness of that rope and the darkness that must have lain over that little boy's heart at the stench and horror that inhabited that well. Incredibly well written.
25 0 Reply
M Asim Nehal 12 January 2016
Thoughtful writing enjoyable.....
2 0 Reply
Jasbir Chatterjee 24 March 2014
well written poem; I loved the twist in the end...
1 0 Reply
Melanie Greenwood 24 March 2014
Finally, a poem by a member that is actually good. The only one I've read so far.... very clear images, beautifully executed.
2 0 Reply
Daniel Y. 23 March 2014
Beautiful, poem of mastery. I am unsure completely about your use of then. I will have to study it more. I liked this poem, please read one of mine.
1 0 Reply
Paul Sebastian 23 March 2014
A beautiful poem on growing up experience.
1 0 Reply
Thomas Carolan 23 March 2014
1 0 Reply

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