January Midnight Poem by Katherine Kay Graven

It was in the month of January

Around the stroke of midnight

I saw her sitting next to you

And knew something wasn't right

Blonde hair falling on her shoulders

Blood-red dress and high-heeled shoes

She was almost sitting in your lap

Like I meant nothing to you

Who was that woman? 

Why was she there? 

Why were you acting

Like I wasn't there?

She was sitting beside the man

Who, only days before, 

Had professed his love to me

As if he really cared
Did you touch her?

Did you lay with her?

Did you tell her all your lies?

When you walked her to her car

Did you really say goodbye? 

You begged me not to leave you

Said you'd explain it all in time

But later never came

And neither did the reason why

You told her, "This is not the place, 

We'll talk about it later"

Then turned and said the same to me

Like neither one should matter

You walked her to her car barefoot

While I stood there asking you

To please come back inside with me

But you said you'd come when you wanted to

I watched her lips touch yours

While you stood beneath that light

Something deep inside me knew

I'd never forget that night


Did you touch her?

Did you lay with her? 

Did you tell her all your lies? 

When you walked her to her car

Did you really say goodbye? 

You begged me not to leave you

Said you'd explain it all in time

But later never came

And neither did the reason why

The bed was lying unmade

You had no shirt or shoes

The top button of your pants undone

What was I supposed to assume? 

She was smoking a cigarette

Sitting there and drinking beer

How long had she been with you

Before I found her there?

Was this the night your lies began

Or had they started long before? 

Were you stringing two women along

To see who'd walk out first?

Did the promise that you made to me

Ever matter anyway? 

I guess I was the dumb-ass one

Because I chose to stay

You couldn't even look at me

Sitting with her cheek to cheek

No tears fell from my eyes that night

My pain was buried much too deep

You never gave an answer

You never told me why

You only gave me silence

And left the questions there inside

Did you touch her?

Did you lay with her? 

Did you tell her all your lies?

Did you whisper things you'd said to me

While looking in her eyes? 

You begged me not to leave you

Said you'd explain it all in time

But later never came

And the questions never died

Why my questions haunt you so

Through all the years, you never once

Told me what I needed to know
You only became angry

Because I cared enough to give a damn

About a relationship already broken

Before it ever had a chance

That cold January midnight

Was only where the hurting started

The beginning of lifelong cuts

Carved deep into my heart
Every unanswered question

Left another scar upon my soul

And the truth you kept from me

Was the truth I'd never know

There beneath that midnight darkness

While I watched you play your part

January was the first deep cut—
The beginning

Of a broken heart

Written by
Katherine Kay Graven
September Fifth, Twenty-Twenty-Six