José's Brassieres Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Colchita who had married young
lost hubby (though he was not hung) .
He had, defying all the laws
absconded with a thousand bras
from JC Penney, in the city
which for the owners was a pity.

This Penney's was the first they'd built
well-decorated and then filled
with gadgets from the greedy Yanks
the thing was financed by the banks.

Colchita's hubby, named José
had bought a bra but could not pay.
He did not have those mucho pesos
to top it off, he smelled like quesos.

They did attempt to throw him out,
the manager began to shout;
José, instead of giving in
took out his box marked Mickey Finn.

Each person in the store was given
three pills (José by now was driven) ,
and soon they rested on the floor
while our hero searched the store.

He ended up not liking things,
discarded even golden rings
and in the end he grabbed all bras.
It must have been simply because
he liked the thought of what one found
inside the cups, so big and round.

He took his ageless Chevy truck
right through the border, with some luck.
They asked about the pile of cloth,
he said it was to chase the moths
from all the curtains in L A
the borderguard said, A-Okay.

Back home the women were united
and wanted José extradited.
All senoritas and senoras
were now considered little whoras.

No one had access to support,
be it a nursing bra or sport.
So when José, well dressed and healthy
came back to Mexico, now wealthy
they took him to the ancient jail
and tied him to a donkey's tail.

The donkey then was stimulated
by heavy voltage, highly rated
in megaamps, and DC current,
it was not meant as a deterrent.

The donkey ran into the scrub
tripped over a cast iron tub,
which had been placed to water stock
inside the shade of a big rock.

The donkey, thinking of a chase
which was, you know it, not the case,
had tangled his hind legs (the dope)
in a quite sturdy handmade rope.

This rope kept tub and rock in place
but now it triggered a wild race.
The donkey, looking briefly back
saw tub and rock on the attack!

They, tied by rope, were pulled behind
which seemed at least to be unkind.
The more they raced the faster ran
the tub as if it were a man,
the rock stayed with it just the same
it was a terrifying game.

As you can guess, they did not stop
until they reached the very top
of Montezuma's mountain range
where something genuinely strange
descended on the fleeing trio:
it was the song of Sole Mio
sung by the angels up above,
a song of true, eternal love.

Our God, whose wisdom sure surpasses
the intellect of any asses,
(be they from Mexico or not)
had, with some kindness, killed the lot.

He had been napping on the mountain
in a deckchair by the fountain,
an angel had played the guitar
when the commotion from afar
disturbed his afternoon siesta,
no need to mention the fiesta.

José, now dead and at the Gate,
to be assessed for mental state
saw angel after angel wear
no stockings and no underwear,
just see-through gowns of pink chiffon
and brand new bras that slip right on.
So now you know when YOU do pass,
thanks to José and one mad ass,
you might as well take Rubik's cubes
because you won't see any boobs.