Just Pretend Poem by Anna Montgomery

I can't help but remember
All the times we were together
Now you're gone
A phantom
A fleeting memory
My heart is more than broken
I thought I was over it
But I'm not
Its all just pretend
The smile on my face
The laugh in my throat
The sparkle in my eyes
Its not real
I'm a void
The growing chasm of grief
I lost everything
Everything that could've been
Never knowing what it would've been
Only knowing what is
I'm so empty
Nothing fills the holes
The hole in my heart;
It cannot be patched
The hole in my gut;
It cannot be filled
The emptiness
It sits in my chest
It grows and grows
I want to be numb
I want to forget
Forget that you were there
Because I am a fool
And I fell in love with you
Now I'm crumbling to pieces
Too sad to cry
The grief is killing me
Its all just pretend you know
That swagger and smirk
That sarcasm and wit
I forgot what I'm fine stands for
Its all just pretend
The only thing that's real
Is how I feel
I miss what could've been
I miss you
Now you're gone
And I'm playing a game
Playing my sad songs
Cause I can't bear the silence
I'm so empty
So sad
It was over before it even began...