Lance Defeats The Matriarchy Poem by David Welch

The endless fight seemed to come to an end,
the toxic nature beaten out of men
by lessons taught, and pressure from above,
the masculine had surrendered to love.

The action movie, no more to be seen,
the bars and classrooms, ordered and serene,
people declared that it was a new age,
but to Lance Michaels, this seemed rather strange.

See Lance Michaels, he grew up off the grid,
way up in Montana, with other kids,
his brothers and sisters, and mom and dad,
both parents believe the mainstream was bad.

His dad owned a mine, a small streak of gold,
six figures a year, plenty for when old,
his mother had been a doctoral type,
then left it to be a mother and wife.

She said she'd realized knowledge was a race
that never ended, and you couldn't place,
that raising children brought more joy to her
then Nobel prizes, or collegiate words.

Now out in the woods, Lance lived a tough life,
cutting wood, digging wells, growing food right,
helping his dad, when it was safe enough,
and then home-schooling, his mother was tough.

Put it simply, he was rather masculine,
driven to achieve, and driven to win,
he had a green thumb, loved biology,
dreamed of going to university.

His parents were wary, but loved their boy,
so his departure they could not avoid,
plus all hard science was grounded in fact,
still they both worried what man would come back.

To say culture shock awaited young Lance…
the ‘real' world tended to look at him askance,
the things they believed were not tied to truth,
just programming for inexperienced youth.

After several spats, Lance quite quickly learned
to keep his head down until grades were earned,
but despite this he was filled with worry,
felt a curious lack of energy.

The dynamism he'd felt in the woods
was lagging more and more, that wasn't good,
he was feeling more, and acting far less,
felt paralyzed even when in duress.

And when he went home for Holiday times
he felt good again, it boggled his mind,
but when he got back, he felt lethargy,
until one day in organic chemistry,

when studying fluoride and its effects,
pieces in his mind started to connect,
if they could use fluoride to save our teeth,
what other chemicals could lie beneath?

So, just before his summer vacation,
he took samples with careful preparation,
and ordered some lab tools to use at home,
then started looking, he just had to know.

It took several weeks, but he quickly found
a strange chemical to the water bound,
clearly synthetic, so he went online,
was astonished by what he didn't find.

There was no mention of such chemistry,
no reports or formulas did he see,
expect for theories from people called mad,
the prickly people, who thought like his dad.

They'd speak of such things, and quickly get banned,
those who spoke louder were publicly damned,
berated as cranks, conspiracy types,
but Lance saw it clear, the ‘crazies' were right.

When he was dome, drinking water from wells,
his drive and his masculinity swelled,
but if he went back for wisdom he sought,
he'd lose that same drive, all would be for naught.

And he knew that if he went off half-cocked,
like so many others he would be blocked.
His only sample was the college town,
he had to play it smart, keep his head down.

Through the next three years he would steal away,
sample other towns while friends got sh-t-faced,
he'd find the same result wherever he'd go,
how could it be that no one seemed to know?

He'd submit reports anonymously,
but never saw word of it on TV,
and no smidge of serious online movement,
Lance knew that this must involve government.

He couldn't proceed out in the open,
the powerful ‘suicided' such men,
but to let this chemical tranquilize males
was nothing but a crime, beyond the pale.

He bided his time, and went to grad school,
Lance had always though genetics were cool,
in studying that, solutions appeared,
a solution that he could engineer…

Like his mother before, he stopped just short
of a PhD, he wanted much more,
and thanks to the cash from his dad's gold mine
he rebuilt his lab to fit to his mind.

Took bacteria he found in the dirt,
with smuggled machines he set to his work,
while outside the world grew more feminine,
and doubled-down on diminishing men.

It took several years, and failures galore,
and entire weeks spent shuttered indoors,
but finally he had a prototype,
a bacterium that did the job right.

This bacteria, like all, had to eat,
only on one chemical would it feed,
that same chemical, hidden and unknown,
that had destroyed the world's testosterone.

He tested it much, and liked the outcome,
then travelled the nation, to see the job done,
he dumped it in rivers, reservoirs, and streams,
Lance was not expected, and thus not seen.

The outcome of this didnt' come overnight,
but soon folks noticed an increase in fights,
a spate of new inventions, new and improved,
flush of music and literature new.

A jump in the birth rate as alpha males
resumed their eternal chase for fresh tail,
and women hungering for just such guys,
it took the authorities by surprise.

And as with Covid, they did overreact,
they did not want masculinity back,
cried of ‘toxic men, ' and ‘much work to do, '
and doubled-down pushing their point-of-view.

But by now all the conspiracy claims
started to make sense, and some did proclaim
that this chemical was real, and a threat,
but the state wasn't ready to quit yet.

They'd put so much effort into their schemes,
to force people into utopian dreams,
they went looking to see what had gone wrong,
and why their fancy chemical was gone.

They found the microbe that young Lance had made,
few words could capture their impotent hate,
the damage was done, they could not stop it,
instead they fumed and looked for the culprit.

It took several years, but the FBI
tracked Lance to the cabin, found him inside,
but Lance wasn't stupid, he'd planned for this,
he wanted the trail, did not resist.

The trial was streamed, and Lance testified
of the chemical and government lies,
the state countered this, and claimed he was mad,
but the world was out, things were getting bad.

Half of the species had been drugged for years,
countless angry men roused governments fears,
they locked Lance up for the ‘rest of his days, '
he stayed in prison, while outside things raged.

The world that emerged was changed from before,
though there's no need to relive that horror,
but for Lance, locked up for freeing all men…
Ten years later he was made president.

Won 95% of the male vote…