Leave The Stage Poem by gershon hepner

If you are over thirty years of age,
tell your mum to leave the stage.
Time won't pass slowly with a quickie,
brought to life and wife with Rikki.
Should you believe that you would rather
ignore this counsel from your father,
your mum and I will come to haunt you,
and many poskim, too, will taunt you.

Now as for Rikki, twenty-three
when you should still be fancy free,
it's far too late now to turn back-
you're stuck for all your life with Zak.
Too bad you couldn't have more fun
on Frumster and on J-Date. None
of the alternatives are now
available. I wonder how
this will affect you after sheva
brochos. Could it be you'll ever
regret the freedom that's your loss
since Zachary's become your boss?

Perhaps, although this grim prognosis
diverges from the das of Moses
that made Zak tell his mum to leave
the stage for you. I do believe
that Moses' das will help you see,
although you're only twenty-three,
before you're both threescore and ten,
like me, the right word was Amen.
Thew ring that you took on the finger
was not zirconium or a zinger,
but the way that fifty-seven
brings you plus thirty-four to heaven.


In the NYT on November 16,2008 Ruth Pennecker (“Throne Ocupied? Try a Comfy Recliner”) writes about Price Charles's 60th birthday. Eric Idle sang him this song: “If you are sixty year of age/ tell your mum to leave the stage.”