Limping Heart Pt 1 Poem by Yaya King

I just think about her and my heart's limping
I don't know when my loving turned to simping
I don't know when expressing my feelings became embarassing
I told her how much I love her and it had her cringing
My heart got struck,
That reaction was the lightning
I would pick drugs over overthinking
Because none of it's real, my mind's just wilding
Most of the time my brain's hallucinating
So many realities clashing,
The force has my mental health shaking
The pillar holding my sanity up is crumbling

Read my text 10 times before sending,
Most of the time I don't even press 'Send',
Because my mind has me deleting,
Type another one,
Just to realise it's the same thing I'm repeating
Just an endless cycle of 'Type, Delete, Rewrite'; I must be tripping

My definition of quantum physics is what she's thinking
One text from her and it's got me calculating,
It's got me spending hours speculating,
Trying to find a hidden meaning,
In something that probably doesn't mean anything

Most of the time when I'm rhyming,
It's my feelings I'm pouring,
Into lines inspired by hours of hurting,
Into bars from my heart disintegrating,
From the times my eyes were red from flooding,
From the times a pool of pain had me drowning,
From the times I felt suffocated, gasping
From the times breathing became tasking,
From the times I had to doublecheck if his heart was still beating