Loosing Game Poem by Yaya King

Loosing Game

I'm addicted to a loosing game
After my final loss, I never was the same
I'm at a loss which one of us is to blame
I don't know if my initials stand for our relationship,
Or they represent nothing more than my name
My love for you has somehow become a beast that I find impossible to tame

I can't count how many times I got 'Game Over'
I wouldn't give up, however,
I kept playing over and over
My luck was so bad,
It couldn't be saved by a lucky clover
But, I know I would've never won,
Even if I had played harder

In the toilet; my face soaking wet,
Unable to tell if it was tears, or the shower
I keep wishing I'd kept you closer,
But I know it wouldn't have stopped you from drifting further

Me and you was my addiction
Ironically though, at the same time;
It was my affliction
Knowing that I had to ditch the idea of you and I; a delusion,
Letting go was almost an impossible decision

I knew when to stop playing,
My brain never failed to send a warning,
But my heart was stubborn, never listening,
Even when it did, it was never heeding
On fantasies and false hope, it was desperately feeding,
Trying to gain strength against the odds in which it was struggling
All the love it had, it kept on spending,
On a game in which it loved to believe it was winning;
Desperation and fear would not allow it accept the fact that it was clearly loosing

Kept on spending, with nothing replenishing,
At each 'Game Over', two options were given;
'Quit' and 'Keep Playing'
Of course, it was the latter it kept choosing,
Knowing fully well the length of the straws it was desperately clutching,
Was slowly, but surely, reducing

The idea of spending so much love initially seemed intimidating,
Alas, here it was, giving so much while barely receiving,
With each 'Game Over', the pillars of desperation and false hope on which it stood, already crumbling,
Shook, with the threat of collapsing

On and on the cycle of spending continued,
Until it could finally spend so more
The pillars on which it stood finally collapsed,
Leaving it to fall and shatter to a thousand pieces patterning the floor

Written late last year
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