Love Poem by Jo Elliott

I used to love a man,
I still feel the same.
The only difference now is
that I won't play his game!

I played it for a long time
and nearly lost who's me;
now I know what I am worth
and it's easier to see.

He played upon my empathy,
I could feel his pain,
this I'd soak into my soul
and a great strength he would gain.

I wondered why I felt so bad,
I could not work it out.
I was filled with a love within my heart
yet I'd want to scream and shout.

He would then just switch off,
this confused me more,
I knew the times he wouldn't return
as he walked out the door.
I questioned how I knew this
as he'd turn it round to me.
I'd get annoyed when he didn't turn up,
I couldn't just let it be.

I felt I wasn't considered.
I felt he didn't care.
He couldn't even let me know
that he would not be there.

He soon realised he pressed a button
and when he needed a rest,
There was no consideration.
I wasn't even worth a text.

I soon came to realise,
when he wanted it to end,
he'd switch off his emotions
and I'd go round the bend.

I would get frustrated,
I could not hold it in.
I would tell him how I felt
and the cycle would begin.
I'd tell him what I wanted
which he could not provide,
and because I felt so worthless
it was easy to be denied.

Somehow I found my strength again
and filled my life with joy,
I then slowly began to understand
why this man was still a boy.

With my knowledge my love for him changed,
I knew I didn't need him here.
I had to let him live his life
and I to face my fear.

The path was long and arduous,
the rocks I used to rest,
reflect on what I was learning
and find the joys with which I'm blessed.

Slowly my life filled up with love.
A love I never knew.
Inside my heart,
the feeling I felt,
was a love for me that grew.

It's the love so many of us fear,
a love that's only inside.
A love we search for in others
yet no other can provide.

A love that can be filled with weakness
yet for others we have great strength.
A love we battle with,
with all our might
and keep away at any length.

So if you have even the slightest doubt
about the love you feel inside,
take a rain check,
look and see,
the love that you provide.

It doesn't mean you do not love
others that are around you;
it means,
until you love yourself,
you'll not truly love them too.

So open yourself to the person
others find so easy to love.
Open your heart to you,
yes you
and realise then you have enough.

Enough to give your families,
enough to give your friends.
Enough to know it will never run out
as inside your heart re-mends.

As you then give and receive it,
you'll fill to overload
and even if it just seeps out,
your heart is its eternal abode.

Thank you for reading 💖