Seeing The Truth Poem by Jo Elliott

Removing those rose coloured spectacles, , , There are a few poems I described that I split into parts, here is one of them. I decided I would leave it as is it and put the description into italics. Seeing the Truth Stop hurting me with your lies! I see nothing but hatred in your eyes, I do not want to look at you because nothing that you say is true. You hide behind a mask of deceit yet you so want our eyes to meet. You think this will show you being sincere when all it does is create more fear. Throughout, I was constantly told how I couldn't meet their eyes, asking me why that was, making it about me, rather than knowing it was because whilst they were deceiving me I deceiving myself. Looking into their eyes meant I saw the truth, but I didn't want to believe what I was seeing, so I didn't/couldn't look. More is said in actions than words, with all you do pain occurs. Now you feel those words of three will fill me up with so much glee. These were the words I said in response to when they just threw words at me "Actions speak louder than words" and when I then saw what they did it proved how little their words meant. It's gone past the time that I've been a fool, no more wool over my eyes will you pull! Your mask has slipped, I see you now! From the charade you play, I will take a bow. This was my time of acknowledgement that I can see, that I have been able to be manipulated and here was my stand to say no more. I'm taking myself out of here! Go with whomever you want to now, I've learnt you will do anyhow! Disregard me and whatever I do, like you did when I thought our love was true. The trust has gone, you made sure of that. You destroyed it with your lies so fat and though this hurts I know I'll gain a true insight into all the pain. This part is to acknowledge that I know that their behaviour was not significant to just me. They are an abuser and unfortunately I let myself become abused. I could see their journey and it would carry on the same whether they were with me or whether they were with someone else and that seeing this meant I could see my own journey starting. I won't let your lies cloud my views, this is the road I'm going to choose. Alone if I have to, I will again be strong! I'm not going to just be the one who did wrong. Their lies were their judgements that I allowed myself to believe about myself because I knew so little about myself and if I had to walk this part alone then that was what I was prepared to do. I knew I was messed up and that it wouldn't be fair to another to put any of it upon them. If loving you was my only crime, I've gladly done the sentenced time. I know I'll be freer than when I was with you and I'll be happier instead of blue. I considered that the only thing I'd done wrong was loving them and that if there was sentence I had to withstand because of this I had already paid my dues. The relationship was the prison term. I stated that I knew I would be freer allowing myself to move on as staying there and within the abuse I was trapped and unhappy.