Love Still,30 Years Ago Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Love still,30 years ago

Christina you do not recall that terrible day but...But grandma told you all about it till...She told you until she died and added to your trauma. But not I...I have never shared my pain. I never told anyone that I hit my head against the wall. It was so hard that the sound scared me...yes...scared me. And unlike my mother I went to see my nieces and nephews...and their foster mother whom I treated like my lost sister...like your mother...she died but different.
She died after she ran away from the hospital, for the sake of her children...and more.
“To me, she is my mother, ” my nephew said...and I liked it even if I missed his mother, my lost sister...my mentor and friend...my toy whose pawn I was.
Yes Christina, I know...I know the killer of your mom is found guilty; 10 counts of manslaughter but was acquitted of murder because the jury believed he had acted under extreme emotional distress and the influence of years of drug abuse. And I know that your foster father is an unsung hero in this story. I know that he and the police officer who saved you and you clung to her, now a foster mother, are caring for you, trying to change a nightmare into possibilities.
Of course it is difficult to plant the seeds of peace and comfort in you, the fully orphaned teenage with angst, confused with anxiety, to overcome this trauma.
But believe that still a NYPD can maintain a sense of humanity.
Believe that even among hotheads and drug addicts, a person who would charge into a house and gun down women and children in cold blood - for no other reason than they were there - is an anomaly.
Believe that your story is very similar to the quick fix fairy tale imposed by readers' mindsets - what they have been conditioned to see and expect, a wave of the magic wand.

Believe that in truth it is difficult and challenging to take someone who's been traumatized and damaged into your home; and that the family dynamics are greatly affected.
Believe me I agree with the small children enduring the tragedy of abandonment must be given to the first person that provides safety.
Christina, believe in logic of Appointment in Samarra.
Believe in Saddi’s story of the man who met the death angel who informed him of his death. He got in a boat to escape. The waves grew tall and strong. The traveler asked the captain to throw him into the sea. The death angel appeared and said that he had spent time gathering them in one place.