Lovemaking Ruined Poem by gershon hepner

Lovemaking is an art
that’s ruined when you fart.
Breaking wind while making
love is worse than faking
orgasms, and can
cause you to lose your man.
Each moment you should seize,
but spoil it not with peas..
Fake if you wish, but farting
leads to lovers parting,
from the bedroom chased
without cheers, unchaste.
Inspired by Janet Maslin’s review of Elmore Leonard’s latest book, “Road Dogs” (“Buddy, That as No Lady, That Was My Pharaoh, ” May 11,2009) :
An aside: “Road Dogs” is worth reading just for the way Mr. Leonard uses the word “chaste” in a gag line. When a gay gangster goes to confession for the first time in 27 years, this book concocts the following exchange: “‘Up to this time you’ve been chaste? ’ “ ‘You mean, Father, by dudes? If I like the guy he don’t have to chase me.’ ”…Mr. Leonard, now 83, still writes with high style, great energy, unflappable cool and a jubilant love of the game. As ever, his scorn for fussy prose is best expressed through his own superbly lean locutions. One sentence is all he needs to show how Dawn feels about Cundo: “In a few moments she would be timing her breathless gasps and cute grunts to the little killer’s thrusts, hoping he wouldn’t cause her to break wind and disturb the performance.”

5/11/09