Lawrence S. Pertillar

Gold Star - 90,093 Points (February/'47 / Connecticut, USA)

Many Do Not Recover At All - Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

With a heart weak and weeping.
I've been there.
Torn apart with guilt and remorse.
Feeling every bit of singing pain,
Stinging me inside singing the blues.
With heart weak and weeping.
I've been there.
Feeling used,
And shakened by it.

Until I realized my self destruction,
Would more than please someone.
And that was not a satisfaction,
I owed to no one.
No time soon.
Especially not anyone I loved,
That would crush me!

And I knew my love was too valuable a treasure.
Too wonderful a gift,
For me to deliver a wish,
For my own self-destruction.
Although very close I came...
To wondering about eternal darkness.

Lightening does strike.
Sometimes it has to happen more than once,
To get any recognition.

I can portray the look of one crazed...
If I begin to hint, feel or sniff a clue,
Of an oncoming violation to annoy my peace.
I don't like those who self invite!

And I'm not having a moment of my peace decreased,
For someone who wants to play fool!
Not on this 'cool', calm and collectedness,
I've created.
Like I said...
I'm not having a moment of my peace decreased,
For someone who wants to play fool!
Not for me to bring my 'fool' out.
And when my fool comes out...
It wants to stay that way,
Just to prove a rule...
About keeping one's distance!

Healing from a self inflicted wickedness,
Like that...
Deserves praise.
Many do not recover at all!
But I intend to remain in recovery.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, December 21, 2008

Poem Edited: Sunday, December 21, 2008


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