Mary-Queen Of Scotch! Poem by Simon Gowen

I first met her in my local
2 years ago, I think
She told me she was single
So I bought the girl a drink

Well the barmaid took the order
She handed me my Coke
Now Mary’s stood beside me
Drinkin’ Whisky like a bloke!

12 shots down is Mary
While I’m still on my first
I doubt that Scotland can supply
Enough to quench her thirst.

I can’t sink shots like Mary
It goes straight to my head
But if I had drunk as much as her
I’d need rubber sheets in bed!

She may be quite attractive
That’s the first part of my wish
But the girls I like are kissable
And don’t drink like a fish!

So I said goodbye to Mary
I’m shocked the girl could stand
While some girls love their diamonds
Mary’s happy, Drink in hand!