Simon Gowen

Rookie - 82 Points (Created in the 60's / West Midlands - UK)

Wham Bam It's A Scam! ! - Poem by Simon Gowen

I've just received a phone call from a man in Bangladesh
Tryin' to sell me stuff I didn't need.
So I rustled up some swear words that I thought that he would know,
In a vain attempt to make his ears bleed!

But he just simply rambled on persistently attempting,
To make believe my PC was at risk.
He told me he was qualified and he had called to help
Remove the evil virus from my disc!

He asked me for my home address, but couldn't spell a word,
So slowly down the phone I softly spoke.
I gave him the address of a P'lice station in the town
Well, it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke!

He then went on to ask me for the details on my card,
So I gave him random numbers from my head.
I kept him chatting on the phone the best part of an hour
I could hardly understand a word he said!

Eventually he cottoned on, that I was playing him
At his own game, and now the guy was mad.
So take to heart and learn from this, don't let them catch you out
Or you will simply end up being HAD! ! !


Poet's Notes about The Poem

After a number of Scam calls made to an elderly relative, I opted to write this.

Comments about Wham Bam It's A Scam! ! by Simon Gowen

  • Kim Barney (10/17/2014 3:53:00 PM)


    Use your caller ID and just don't answer the phone if it's someone you don't know. Or if you don't have caller ID and you answer the phone and it's a telemarketer or politician or someone else you don't want to talk to, just hang up. Why waste time and good swear words? (Report) Reply

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  • John Brown (2/14/2013 7:45:00 AM)


    Brilliant poem, excellently written. I love it. (Report) Reply

  • Heather Wilson (8/12/2012 2:15:00 PM)


    So funny and clever, thanks for the tip, off to rustle up some swear words, just in case I get the same phone call. (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (8/8/2012 11:03:00 AM)


    Get too many of these nuisance calls and usually just put the phone down on them - very amusing and brilliantly penned. (Report) Reply

  • (8/8/2012 10:28:00 AM)


    A clever way to handle that situation.Think I shall handle my next one in a similiar way. A very
    enjoyable read-well done
    (Report) Reply

  • (8/8/2012 10:07:00 AM)


    Clever and funny, full of good ideas. (Report) Reply

Read all 6 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, August 8, 2012



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