Mixed Emotions Poem by John A'Hern

Leaving family home, grief as if losing a loved one
Reasons differ as life deals its cards,
Accept the hand and hold close to your heart
Never show a single card, decisions needed can be hard.

Leave your home for greener pastures
Some gates are locked warning trespassers,
Mothers and Fathers pass on so quickly
On your own, life can be prickly.

Memories abound in strange ways
A word or an action comes your way.
Walk the road of so many dreams
Lack of people and houses unseen.

Demolished, making way for progress
Stop and stare at old family home,
Still standing proud, defying inevitable
I Stand so still for hour after hour.

Each moment in my life has passed so quickly,
A visit is called for showing bravery.
Find myself standing at the front door
Off its hinges looking forlorn.

I pick it up as if helping an old friend
Place against a wall deserves a rest.
Step inside, met by familiar settings,
Desertion has taken its toll of surroundings.

Silence, so silent, a noise it makes,
Walk the rooms, still looking proud.
Inner voice has taken control
Leave right now and save your soul,
Ignore the message do not understand.

My parents' bedroom is where I now stand
To this day when I am judged
I swear I smelled the perfume, of a Woman I called Mam,
Left the home with one look back.

Then returned to life and reality
As said before, words and actions, inspire dreams
Sometimes a nightmare or so it seems,
Believe what we want, or dream dreams.