'My Final Humiliation' Poem by Linda Winchell

I've had nine years of physical and mental abuse
but this one was the final straw!
I thought you did everything you could to me
all of what you could do, I saw!

But when you had me stand and watch you wipe
your butt with your T.P. made postage stamp!
I repressed my laughter to the point
where it was giving my face a cramp!

You've been complaining I was using too much T.P.!
and wanted to show me how it should be done!
Now I didn't think that this was too cool of you!
and you were making sure I wasn't having any fun!

You proceeded to take two sheets from the roll
then wiped and folded it in two.
Then wiped again, then folded
then wiped, until you thought I knew!

I could not believe what I was seeing
or what you had subjecting me to.
I thought of the vows that you and I had taken
better or worse and till death do part, of us two.

Well mister, this really takes the cake!
I think you put me now through it all!
But to make me stand and watch you crap and wipe!
I think now I've seen it all!

I've tried ground glass in your oatmeal!
but that didn't seem to work!
It only helped your bowels to move
and act like one of earths biggest jerks!

I will use what my rear end needs to clean!
I buy it! And have had two babies, and a hysterectomy!
So if I need to wad it like a baseball mit around my fist!
You had better not say or do what you've just done again to me!