My Fondest Memory Poem by Meadow Johnson

How do I gather the threads of my life? How do I live without being your wife? I stumble through each day on meds for my scrambled brain and it always fails to anesthetize the pain. Being consumed with guilt is a hard way to live and I hate myself for having nothing to give. You are a brilliant light filled with warmth and caring, and your precious spirit I had the privilege of sharing. I'd give my life to change the past and treat you kindly so our love may last. I can't explain what changed in me, my addiction stole my ability to see what was happening before my eyes, I hate myself for the lows and the highs. Nothing was worth losing you my greatest friend who was unfailingly true. I'll never forgive myself for the pain you endured, and all the things you told me that I never really heard. The nights you spent in anguish are happening to me now and the shame is overwhelming for how I let you down. I pray you don't forget the happiness we shared I'll always love you and you have to know I cared.I hope you know I miss you and you're the only man for me, and as much as it hurts to remember you, you're my fondest memory.