My Mother, The Stranger Poem by Paula Glynn

Oh Mother, glorious mother,
With a heart so empty and cold,
Your poisonous ways,
Leaving me violent, cruel and bold,
Like the son of a bitch I am,
Where I look at others pain,
And just don't give a damn,
Only ever crying crocodile tears.

I kill for my supper,
I kill to ease that yearning,
For power, control, success,
As I learnt to do with only cold words,
Where I only had a bath when it suited,
You not caring if I smelt bad.

Alcohol and cigarettes,
Were your weakness,
And you choked away,
Never making eye contact,
Your children your enemy,
Your abusive actions,
Of a cold, uncaring stranger.

When I get back from school,
No words of encouragement,
Just actions that drive the pain,
Actions that pierce and sear the brain,
A mother a stone cold stranger,
Downing another bottle of vodka,
To drown out the voices,
And make the night pass with more ease.

I hear my mother and father,
Shouting; loud and quiet,
To place fear in a heart of stone,
Those emotional connections non-existent,
The miracle of life a distant dream,
Life only a horror film where you scream.

Mother leave me desolate,
My emotions only of pain and hate,
Unable to know love,
Unable to find a soul mate,
For I only lash out, I do not feel love,
And I must sicken the lord above.

There is no guiding light,
Through the darkness of hell,
A hell my mother made for me,
Although I am her: I sold her out,
When I was born she did shout,
And push her son away,
The angels crying as they pray.

No flowers litter your grave,
And those that do are dead,
Your heart of stone,
Rotting in hell,
For heaven does not wait,
For souls like us,
My mother, the stranger,
That made me the danger,
The news full of murderers,
All knowing the hate,
And with the anger,
People fear me: fear what I can do,
But the ship of fools is here,
As I go from place to place,
Memories I will want to erase,
But mother you haunt me,
You taught me all I know,
How to drink, lie and cheat,
And always act with deceit,
This story to end in tragedy.