Lawrence S. Pertillar

Gold Star - 48,706 Points (February/'47 / Connecticut, USA)

Needing Details And Specifics - Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.

When I decided to heal and cure,
From my own hidden agonies...
Knowing they were mine alone,
It was as if folks I had not seen...
Most of my life,
Appeared from nowhere wanting to assist.
I felt something very wrong with this.
And I could not imagine how.
Or why 'now'?

I felt preyed upon by those ready to leech.
Those who saw me again healthy.
And wanted to see,
How quickly they could weaken me.
I don't have to hear people are evil.
Countless are my personal experiences.

When I decided to heal and cure,
From my own hidden agonies...
Nowhere in between my decision to do that,
And my healing process...
Were you seen.
Why didn't you return my calls?
AND you say you understand?

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.

And please don't ask what it is you can do for me.
When the only thing I know you can do,
Since you have proven you can do this well...
You are not dependable or accountable for your actions.
And when you are available...
You have said to me you had nothing else to do!
And if I may...
I am going to 'assume' you have nothing else to do?

Well...
I have many things to do.
And one of them is not going to be accessible,
To people like you skilled in playing the role of deceiver.
I've seen that performance too much with a waste of my time.

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.
But this is guaranteed?
I know you will not be here and around me.
And THAT I hope is understood,
Without you needing details and specifics.

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.
So never say it again.


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Poem Submitted: Sunday, April 22, 2012



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