No Escape Tonight Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

There is someone I miss so desperately
and wonder if she misses me
All my feeling tonight feel broken
In emptiness and lonliness unspoken

This night there feels no escape
from waiting for my wished for break
To an imagined life of love and joy
which I dreamed of since just a boy

My very heart feels ready to die
as if living an empty lie
I have a wife but to her I'm unknown
Left to feel lost and so alone

And though I'm older now, still I hunger
even more than when I was younger
For love and kindness that is returned
no fear oneday of being spurned

My heart and spirit can no longer bear
this nothing life feeling so unfair
I've already faced my deep fears
and suffered emptiness for years

But tonight nothing can calm my fear
nothing at all seems clear
I miss someone I shouldn't miss
and may never feel her imagined kiss

In tonight's desperation
she's my only inspiration
But inside me is a deep dark fear:
....she may never reappear

Tonight I pray that from her I'll hear
The gentle spirit that from far feels near
I need her so much more than I can say
and miss her more each day

Since morning she was on my mind
all her notes, my thoughts rewind
Thinking and feeling the kindness she said
the thoughts fill my empty head

No interest in my guitar
With my lonliness I spar
and lose the fight
This desperate night

For just the chance of love
I pray to God above
but no answers seem to come
and inside I feel dead and numb

No escape tonight
from my fears and fright
I know I need a kind heart
who loves me from the start

In my distant chair
I'm in nobodys care
'If I hurt anymore I will be dead',
spoke the last thought in my head

I'm a man I scream, inside

I have nowhere left to run to
I've got nowhere left to hide


2008 © James T. Adair