'Nothing-Ness Poem by Dislocated Heart

I'm the friend that seems to never have a problem..
I'm the friend that helps everyone else out..
I'm the friend... that keeps it all to himself..

I'm a ticking bomb.. just bout ready to explode..
I'm bout ready.. to let it all go..
I've got nothing to lose..
nothing to gain..

I wish I could say this is my the end..
but tomorrow will be another when I wish for a better day..
another day.. to try and cry my feelings out..
or just to yell and cuss at the wall..
punching the wind..
and slowly.. sit in the ground..
asking myself why..
and why do these things happen to me..

If god is there..
hasnt he seen I've been thru enough?
I pray and pray..
I go to church..
I help ppl when they are in need..
but yet..
I am here laying in my own sorrow..
wishin for the Lord Mighty to save me...

A blade is an escape.. but hell is not my ideal world..
nor is heaven.. for I'm not nearly good enough..

This soul is asking for maybe 1 day of happiness..
Pure joy..
Just one day...

but wish on that star every night.. wont do good..
It's like talkin to a blinking light..

nothing-ness.....