Nothing Special But Bizarre Poem by deborah mae lacay

i tried to retrieve something, but there's none i could find
i wanted to figure out if the feeling's gotten anything behind
i just don't know what exactly to expect or look for
it's just that having you around isn't doing me good anymore..

the unusual heartbeats, the cold feeling..
i don't know how to go on pretending
that everything for me is just a big joke
when all the while my throat contracts, i thought i was going to choke..

i don't know where this leads
but i owe you a lot for attending to my needs
hadn't you been there i should have been nothing
thank you for being there, for me it meant everything.

there's nothing special with this line
but even then, i know you'll just stay blind
the questions will still stand without answers-
why can we always be friends, and never lovers..?

although i never wanted to expect any more than what we are
still my lonely times remind me of something bizarre
there you are, so complete and happy with someone else
while i am here, alone, but still hoping beyond what my heart tells..