Nothing To Gain Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I can not override your guilt maintained
By sweetening my experiences,
I alone have obtained.

Nor can I overlook my scars,
My smile might hide to camouflage.
I am not here to convince,
My emotions are contained by not wincing.
Nor make attempts to refrain from my own pain.

And I surely have nothing to gain,
By revealing my healing to you.
I am not one to wallow away in shade digressing...
Who's point of view I should have,
Or had not comprehended or accepted to pursue.
I have other things on my mind to do!
When I forgive and forget...
I move on from it,
And I am through!

If and when I do give blood...
Whether for charity,
Or from a wound that has been inflicted.
It will still drip from my own veins.
Standing, sitting or unconscious as it drips,
The 'me' I am still remains!

And I will not be seeking anyone's assessment...
Or interpretation as to how that feels.
As a sensation instigated by one fascinated.
There are too many like that...
Anticipating to be baited!
No one will know that but me.
And I am not into dramatic exaggerations.
Nor repeated self beatings,
To relive to incite my peace.
And 'that' has been well deserved!
Like a dessert I love that has been served.