Old Habits Poem by Leria Hawkins

Old Habits
Date: December 30,2013

I searched for you today
And today, and today…and tomorrow
…rewinding yesterdays
And the day before, and the day before that…

If I had a dime for all the moments spent searching
Or for all the times I’ve read and reread the lines
Scanning verse after verse for emotion to define us

I yearn for a clue to enlighten me
A hint of true meaning…the cold hard truth of you and I
I long for a tell-tale sign, something that speaks…
Small but significant, to dream of tomorrow

And I’ve tried to make sense of old habits
Tried to justify this need to cling
When passion, long past its prime
Is exhausted in lines of useless rhyme

And just as the endless prattle holds no flame
I find no spark to ignite hope into my heart
No compassion to warm me on cold nights
While I dream restless and alone…

It’s just an old habit, a secret obsession…a vice!
That’s all it is…all it’s fated to be
Just a fire that burns me!
Burns in me, but fails to warm beyond my own weary heart

A fire that rages on…
Useless, yet unfaltering
Sometimes smoldering, sometimes flames
But always useless, always in vain

It’s a fire, more torture than joy
More cruel than kind
A fire that cares not of consequences
Sees not…the pain of its tyranny

A fire that leaves me searching
Today…and today and tomorrow
…rewinding yesterdays
A torment, a sorrow…

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Copyright © 2013 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved