Old Woman Poem by Genevieve Surrender

Old Woman

Rating: 4.5


An old woman
sat at the end of the tub
and stared at the bubbles
that slowly revealed
her body beneath the waves.

An old woman
sat at the end of the tub
and looked down to her nudity
in awe of it's perfection

An old woman
cannot be used
if she has the body
of a seventeen-year-old
but the mind
of a seventy-year-old.

That doesn't change
the fact
that she is tired.

She is always tired.

And she will always be tired
of people like you.

'What happened to the days
when men were men
and women wore pearls? '

she thought to herself
as the top of her head
fell beneath the waves
and she made her own bubbles.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Uriah Hamilton 29 November 2005

A good write from the youthful old.

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Hugh Cobb 28 November 2005

You are a very talented young writer. Your poems are generally strong and often surprising and full of humor (and other emotions.) Like many young writers, your poems are hit and miss but even your misses show great promise. This poem is interesting and challenging, but you don't quite pull it off the way you are trying. The ending should be more shocking more of a blindside to the reader. It is not a bad attempt. I rate it an 8 and many of your poems are better than that on my scale. Just know I am a fan and respect your talent. All the best - HDC

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Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler 28 November 2005

i really liked where this poem ended up, but i believe you could have added more punch to it; built it up, then really socked me in the face with that last stanza. Jake

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